As you can see, private donations from Damforst members and patrons account for a significant portion of our yearly earnings. But if you got some dirt on somebody, or pictures of a politician doing naughty things in a diaper, let us know. We would be happy to send them a "donation request."
Contact us at email@example.com today!
See damaged, stolen, and forged anytime for free while supporting our mission. Individual memberships begin at a single $20 Chipotle gift card. Sound like a deal? HA, no...it's a steal...a salty, delicious steal.
1 $20 Chipotle gift card:
Small Time Crook
- Free admission to the Damforst collection and special exhibitions anytime.
- 10% discount on any Black Market art purchases.
- Subscription to our randomly published museum journal: Art Crime.
1 $50 Chipotle gift card:
- Free admission to the Damforst collection and special exhibitions anytime, as long as you plan to bitch about it.
- 5% discount on any Black Market art purchases. We know you're just going to damage purchases anyway so you can sue your insurance company for the difference.
- No subscription to our randomly published museum journal: Art Crime, just to piss you off more.
- Exclusive access to extreme religious and feminist sects that vandalize offensive works of art.
- Reciprocal membership to Guerrilla Girls organization, including free gorilla mask.
1 $1,000 Chipotle gift card:
- Free admission to the Damforst collection and special exhibitions anytime for you and anyone else, badass.
- Exclusive invitations to private openings and events, including secret meetings.
- A more dependable subscription to our randomly published museum journal: Art Crime.
- 25% discount on any Black Market art purchases.
- Free admission to any museum with broken, damaged, or stolen art, so basically any museum in the world.
- Reciprocal membership benefits for our sister institution, which supports the study and preservation of damaged, stolen, and forged science.
- Full access to Vermeer's The Concert
Patrons interested in sending gift cards in any amount larger than $1000 should send cash or a blank check instead. Said checks and cash will be used for vacations, credit card bills, and scholarships in the form of student loan payments. Thanks!
Please be aware that as you explore the pages about Damforst Museum's programs, events, history and financial info, you are likely to come across a fair amount of fakery. Do not be alarmed; the Museum staff simply spend far too much time in libraries, museums, and institutions of higher learning to be entirely sane. They do, however, take their responsibilites to the content of the Damforst Museum very seriously and can assure you that all art-related information is well-researched and as accurate as the field allows. So, don't email us to complain that you can't find our address: Damforst Museum exists only in the World Wide Web...and your living nightmares.
Damforst Museum staff